And the winner is… 'Newcastle
Brown Ale'
-- but not without controversy
Newcastle Brown Ale, a
darker-but-mainstream ale brewed in Great Britain since
1770, has been chosen as the Official Beer of the Fresno
Dads Club, the club has announced. A quorum of Fresno Dads
Club members favored Newcastle Brown over a dozen other
nominees from all over the world in a semi-blind tasting
event, held Saturday, Aug. 9, in Fresno.
 But
the result did not come without controversy. After the first
round of competition, one top-finishing beer had to be
disqualified, and one Club member raised the possibility of
a flaw in the testing procedures.
It is the stated belief of the Fresno Dads Club that
fathers everywhere, after fulfilling their duties as
involved dads, playmates, providers, pals and
disciplinarians for their children, deserve to enjoy a cold
brew for their efforts, in moderation, of course. Toward
this end, and to demonstrate its leadership in the
Fatherhood community, the Fresno Dads Club undertook the
difficult course of choosing its Official Beer.
The Event
Club members were asked to bring three 12-ounce bottles of
any beer they wanted to nominate to the event, which
included grilled hot dogs, bratwurst, roasted almonds and
Doritos as palate-cleansing mechanisms. During tasting,
participating Club members took turns pouring each nominated
beer, ensuring that individual judges did not know which
beer was being tasted 75 percent of the time. On their
ballots, Club members were asked to rate each beer as
“Good,” “Meh,” or “Bad,” based on consideration of five
criteria:
1. Taste: Is it good, or is it swill?
2. Drinkability: Does it go down easy, or is it like
swallowing turpentine?
3. Body: Is it a beer for frak’s sake, or is it
water?
4. Finish: Happy ending, or misfire?
5. Efficacy: Could you get plowed on this stuff?
Would you want to?
The Controversy
After the first round of competition, three beers were tied
for the lead. But one of those beers, Pyramid Hefeweizen,
could not be reconsidered during the final round of judging
because none remained after the first round of competition.
In the end, it was disqualified because of inadequate
tasting supply.
 Also,
one club member raised the possibility of a flaw in the
testing procedures. Club member Mahwy1, who stated a
preference for Coors products and offered as full disclosure
his Colorado background, said in a message posted to the
Fresno Dads Club forums, “I rated 3 beers ‘Good’ and gave
Coors Light a high ‘Meh,’ and only really went that way
because of the ‘Is it a beer for frak’s sake or is it
water?’ category.
“I was just trying to follow the judging guidelines (even
though I think the category was leading us to give higher
scores for darker beers),” Mahwy1 said. “I like the lighter
beers, but the judging was set up to make that a negative.”
In the competition, Coors and Coors Light both finished dead
last in scoring, tying with budget beer Keystone “in the
specially-lined can.” Incidentally, because of its
distinctive vomit-esque bouquet, Keystone was designated by
the judges as the beer “most likely to have been barfed
into.”
 “I
can certainly understand Mahwy1’s position, and our supply
issues with Pyramid Hefeweizen could certainly cast some
doubt upon our selection of Newcastle Brown Ale as our
'Official Beer,'” said Club member and event host Thorne.
“But I think we made a sound decision in choosing Newcastle
Brown. And besides, I can think of worse things than having
to do this competition all over again.”
(Editor's Note: We at FDC take our fathering duties
seriously. But as this contest demonstrates, we’re not above
having a little fun, either.)
Overall Results
|
First Round |
Good |
Meh |
Bad |
|
Newcastle Brown Ale |
3 |
2 |
0 |
|
Miller Genuine Draft |
3 |
2 |
0 |
|
Pyramid Hefeweizen |
3 |
2 |
0 |
|
Smithwick |
3 |
1 |
1 |
|
Firestone Double-Barrel Ale |
2 |
2 |
1 |
|
Arrogant Bastard Ale |
2 |
1 |
2 |
|
Miller High Life |
1 |
3 |
1 |
|
Pacifico |
1 |
3 |
1 |
|
Widmer Hefeweizen |
1 |
2 |
2 |
|
Moylan’s |
1 |
1 |
3 |
|
Coors Light |
0 |
2 |
3 |
|
Coors |
0 |
2 |
3 |
|
Keystone |
0 |
2 |
3 |
|
Second Round |
Judges’ Score |
|
Newcastle Brown Ale |
21 |
|
Miller Genuine Draft |
14 |
|
Pyramid Hefeweizen |
Disqualified |
|
