Steam trains and Saturday mornings

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. I wouldn’t have known that, except that my son did a flying leap on top of me and yelled, “Good morning, daddy!” during his descent. I woke up to the unsolicited onslaught and started our morning tickle regimen that keeps his laughing muscles in shape. He usually wouldn’t be up this early on a weekend, 7 a.m., but I had been prepping him the entire night before to go and ride the Yosemite Mountain Sugar Pine Railroad, the only steam train that I am aware of in our area.

He was excited, if not confused. He knew we were going to ride the steam train, but he was unaware of exactly how we were going to do that. We were in Yosemite the week before, and I explained that we were going back to the mountains to ride the train, but I could not convince him that those mountains were not around the ocean. During breakfast, while I packed our day pack and snacks, and even while we were getting into the car with our two friends who were riding with us, Brenda and Mike, he kept on saying how he couldn’t wait to see the ocean.

Every time he talked about the ocean, I explained that we really weren’t going to see the ocean today. Maybe we would see a bear or some deer, lots of trees and mountains, possibly a stream or river, but we were definitely not seeing the ocean during our outing today. Finally, after both Mike and Brenda confirmed that we were not going to the ocean, Brian Jr. realized that there was no possibility of an oceanic adventure today.

With my son somewhat disappointed that we were riding a train that was nowhere around the ocean, we began driving. His earlier enthusiasm was somewhat diminished, and he fell asleep in the truck on the way to the train.

He woke up a bit before we arrived at the steam train turn-off, and was now excited about riding the train, which he happily pointed out, “is in the mountains, not by the ocean.”

We got out of the truck and had our obligatory race up the hill. Upon completion of the race, we bought our tickets, checked out the rustic shops (where, oddly, Brian liked checking out the antique tools more than he cared about the antique toys), and waited for the train to start our epic journey through the wild countryside.

We boarded onto the log seats, which is where Brian insisted we ride, much to my pleasure. It is always wonderful when you and your son have the same ideas. A German family boarded right next to us with three dogs. Brian was far more interested in the dogs than anything else going on around him. Suddenly, though, the train’s whistle blew and Brian almost jumped out of the train with surprise. I sat him down next to me as we began moving. Hitting Brian’s funny bone, the Cocker Spaniel started barking without even knowing who he should be barking at just because the train was moving. Junior thought it was so funny, and he wanted to go over and pet the dog to calm him, but I wouldn’t let him since getting up was against the rules once the train was moving.

Brian really enjoyed the ride, but his favorite moment was when we hit the halfway point of the first leg and the steam train started working hard and released a lot of steam everywhere. The entire area turned from a beautiful, clear day to a foggy, misty forest fit for any Friday the 13th movie (maybe a Jack the Ripper in London moment, you choose the scarier scenario). Brian was completely impressed. As we were going around the next turn, still in heavy steam, I looked at the engine and noticed how hard it was working. The fire box beneath the train was pulsating with red fire, and I drew Brian’s attention to it. I explained that the fire was heating the water and making it into steam, and the steam was what was driving the pressure to make the engine move the train. Brian was very unsure about what I was saying, until we reached the top of the little hill, and the engineer released the excess steam. Within moments, we could no longer see the engine or its fire box and even the forest was fading. It was impressive.

On the drive home, Brian was getting tired. I had fed him and the walking/running at the train station and subsequent hiking afterwards had wore out his little body. Mike, my friend, and I were enjoying a bunch of friendly banter in the front seat, though. After a while, Brian’s “pay attention to me” meter was pegged, and he knew he was about to fall asleep anyway. He butted into the conversation Mike and I were having, and I started talking with him.

While we were talking, Mike made a joke about what we were talking about. I started laughing, and Brian quietly said, “That’s not funny.” I started laughing a little louder, with Mike and Brenda joining in, and Brian more loudly stated, “That’s not FUNNY.” Now I was laughing even harder, as everyone except Brian Junior was, and Brian, in his tired state, screamed, “THAT’S NOT FUNNY.”

At this point, I realized that Brian was getting very tired, so I told Mike not to egg him on. Brian kept saying, “That’s not funny; that’s not funny; that’s not funny…” probably because we all laughed when he said it every previous time. Finally, I had to tell him that it was funny, but it isn’t anymore. Mike, trying to help me out, said, “Knock-Knock.”

Apparently, however, tired Brian was still mad at him for taking my attention away. Brian, despite the fact that I am positive he didn’t want to talk to Mike right then, but who had never dealt with a situation where he couldn’t answer a knock-knock joke screamed, “WHOOOOO’S THEEEEEEEEEERE?!?”

I just about jumped out of my seat, but Mike was unfazed. He immediately continued his knock-knock joke and Brian laughed at the fact that he was, apparently, happy that Mike didn’t say banana. Brian fell asleep within minutes after the joke.

Once we got home, I asked Brian if he had fun. He said that it was really fun, and still had his ticket in his hand. I asked if he wanted to ride the train again and he said, “That’s not funny,” while laughing giddily at his own highly developed wit. I guess next time we will hit the ocean.

--by Brian Hansen, Sr.,
FDC member and devoted dad
 

Recession Fatherhood: A quick and helpful primer

So, the economy’s in the toilet, the paycheck isn’t going as far as it used to, the bills aren’t getting any smaller, and your little ones are still clamoring for entertainment, eh?

We feel your pain.

When you’re a dad, facing the realities of our economy – with prices going up and the certainty of employment going through the floor – is indeed a tough spot. The little ones look up to you for everything from guidance and education to feeding and entertainment, and yet checking the wallet and finding it empty can make even the most fortunate of us feel powerless.

Fret not, dads. This month The Fresno Dads Club offers its guide to “Recession Fatherhood,” a handy primer on how to keep the little ones fed, entertained and educated for free or on the cheap. Read on, and if you have ideas to share, please feel free to send ‘em along.

Food:
Aside from housing expenses, forking over for food is usually the biggest expense in a household. But with a house full of little mouths open like baby birds in the nest, cutting the budget without cutting their intake can be quite a feat.

That said, dads and families can take a few simple steps to reduce their food bills significantly. How?

First, reduce or limit going out to eat. And not just by cutting those all-you-can-eat token-filled evenings at John’s Incredible Pizza, either. Unless you’re in the mood for expertly prepared filet mignon or shrimp cocktails, making dinner at home is almost always less expensive than heading out to a restaurant. Cooking? The more you do, the better you’ll get.

Lunches? Mac and cheese takes only 15 minutes to make and feeds two for less than a buck a box. Perpetually underrated PBJs on whole grain are not only nutritious, but can also be the source of future happy memories when your children make their own. If your kids are already chicken-nugget addicts, a bag of frozen nuggets can get you through a week of lunches for the price of one-and-a-half Happy Meals. And screw Save Mart; as the most expensive non-boutique grocery chain in town, it’s best avoided. Instead, hit WinCo or Foods Co. for better prices on the same products. For the biggest savings, be sure to visit their bulk sections.

And as a final thought, don’t be afraid to spend part of your Sunday clipping coupons. That coupon section can indeed offer some tremendous money-saving deals.

Entertainment:
Kids can be little sponges for wallet-draining entertainment, can’t they? A night at the movies for a family of four – with tickets, non-smuggled snacks and a soda for everyone – can easily exceed $50 or $60 bucks. New discs for the XBox or PlayStation can run anywhere from $20-$50. And if you’re paying a sitter to watch the bambinos while you and your significant other go on Date Night, you may have to limit yourselves to just the soup.

There are better and less expensive ways. A Netflix membership can keep you and the little ones up to your eyeballs in movies all month for far less than the cost of seeing a movie solo. While it can be a tough sell for older kids, swapping XBox or PlayStation time for something along the lines of Monopoly can not only save money and electricity, but might even help with securing precious “family time.”

If you read to your children – and you should! – consider forsaking Barnes and Noble or Borders in favor of a library visit. Most of Fresno’s libraries have extensive children’s sections, and a visit may even garner you a few minutes of peace if one of their “Volunteer Readers” is there to keep the kids entertained.

And Fresno has plenty of free play activities available. An afternoon at a park like Oso de Oro – FDC’s favorite – can help keep the kids active and involved for only the price of the gas to get there. RiverPark has an outdoor play area for the littler ones, too, but you have to restrain yourself from visiting the nearby Me & Eds or Jamba Juice to save the money. For smaller kids, the play area inside Fashion Fair Mall is still a favorite, but like a RiverPark visit, one must have the restraint to avoid a stop at Mrs. Fields or the food court while you’re there.

Got lawn sprinklers? Instant water park! Add a few cheap squirt guns and it may even help the older ones get over their “Halo” addictions.

And for any child under five, an afternoon of entertainment can be had with a pile of old newspapers or magazines, blank paper, safety scissors and a glue stick. Have them find photos they like in ads or articles, cut them out, arrange them into a nice collage and glue-stick them in place. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s hours of entertainment for the $2 price of a glue stick.

Still need that Date Night? For two or fewer kids, the Jax Junglehouse drop-off childcare business in north Fresno runs about half the price of any babysitter who's not your mother-in-law or your dear Aunt Fanny. The kids get to play with other kids, they're well supervised, and you and your significant other get to go enjoy yourselves. Not a bad deal, right?

Expenses:
There are plenty of other ways to nip expenses in the bud. For some, these suggestions may be painful, but let’s face it: they can save more than a few bucks in the long run.

Starbucks addict? (Like me?) While I would never belie any father’s need for caffeine, mochas and lattes run at least $3.50, especially if you’re finding the new McCafes a bit too convenient. As an alternative, consider that a $6 jar of Folger’s Freeze Dried combined with a $4 jug of Coffee-Mate French Vanilla creamer will closely match the flavor of a vanilla latte for about a tenth or a fifteenth of the cost. Translated: A couple of week’s worth of caffeine fix for the price of less than three Starbucks runs.

Can your wheels do without the thumping subwoofer, the flame job or the chrome spinners? It’d save you some bucks without costing you any street cred, mostly because being a father is just about the most badass thing you can do, right?

Do you have the confidence (or need your other half’s permission) to cut your children’s hair yourself? Doing so will save the cost of a haircut per child at least bimonthly.

Know the location of the nearest thrift store? They’re great places to get kid’s clothes on the cheap. And what’s better, when the kids outgrow them you can sell the same clothes back.

And as a random thought, do you really need to spend as much as you may on beer, or wine, or liquor, or smokes, or the lottery, or Chukchansi? Can you find a way to cut or eliminate these completely? Of course we all have our vices, but I’ve gotta believe reducing or eliminating these could not only save serious dinero, but perhaps lead to being a better father. That’s not a moral judgment, mind you… it’s just the reality of fatherhood.

Guidance:
Yes, your kids will probably ask why you’re trying so hard to cut expenses. I don’t believe there’s any harm in being honest and telling them how expensive things are these days. Kids can be remarkably resilient, and will accept change readily if you can get past their initial five minutes of whining about perceived deprivation.

But there is a fast way to guide them on the virtues of cutting expenses and saving money. And it’s as old as the hills.

Get a glass jar, or an empty five-gallon water jug, or an empty Jif or Peter Pan container once you’ve immersed your family in PBJ lunches. Cut the proverbial slot in the top, and let your little ones put any coins they find or receive right in the jar. Instant piggy bank, and what’s better, you’re teaching them to save. The daughter of someone I know once filled a five-gallon water jug with pennies. Sure, it took a while, but at the end she had nearly $1,000 in there. In pennies! One iPod, one PC and a few new wardrobe items later, Little Thrifty was a happy girl who not only knew how to save, but took a lot of pride in her achievement.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we’d all learned to save that early in life?

--by Tim Savage, a.k.a. 'Thorne',
charter member of FDC and full-time dad
 

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July Events:

Dads and Kids Night
McDonalds Playland Mayhem
5:30-7 p.m. Monday, July 27

Let's get ourselves and our kids together for some Chicken McLugnuts and serious indoor-Playland mayhem. The McD's is on the northwest corner of Herndon and Marks.